Friday, September 19, 2008

Short Open Letters

Dear Salman Khan

Dude get married already, you don't have to be the "first one" for every actress I find beautiful. It's not fair on me.

Dear Grinch

Stop being mean and weird. I can go on and on on how weird you have become since moving so please just get your act together.

Dear Article Boy

Stop bitching behind my back, that's what girls do. I know I steal your thunder in front of the girls but you have to learn how to deal with it. Mkay!

Dear Partner in crime at the parties

Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

Dear TV News Channels

How much does it cost to get some news from you huh !

Dear John McCain

Please sign more deals with India, I will vote for you :P

Dear Extraterrestrials

If you don't want us to see your spaceships, then turn the lights off. You guys are trying to sneak around up there and you're lit up like fucking Christmas trees.

Dear Bob Dylan

Please come back and sing for me once more.

Dear Barrack Obama

If you were not black and a guy, they would be calling you anorexic. Go eat something, hell if you and your family are busy ask Hillary she'll cook something up for you.

Dear (not) Guest Post Writer

You are such sweet person otherwise.