Monday, May 21, 2007


NOTHING 7: The Lawyer Chick !

The Lawyer Chick!

Hmm it's NOTHING time again and this time I am gonna let you in on the anonymous conversations I had with a budding lawyer. We shall refer to her as the Lawyer Chick from here on. Now it all started out well, of course, but as time wore on, it quickly mutated into a cross country joking marathon conducted on the 2nd level of Dante's Inferno. As is well known, Lawyers are the people you need to read the instructions given on the back cover of a board game and they are sorely required if Me and Sri play, and this one was no different. I had to literally come up with the weirdest of jokes to keep the conversation from dying and degenerating into a heap of characters that should have belonged in the recycle bin of her terminal. "I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping"[1] and this one was one of those moments.

Sample 1:

Lawyer Chick: I would be friends with anyone who comes up with the best line using the words "liver" and "cheese".

Random Guy 1: I love liver and cheese.

Lawyer Chick: Not creative enough.

Random Guy 2: I hate liver and cheese.

Lawyer Chick: Ugh come on guys.

Me: Liver.....cheese mine [2]

Sample 2:

Lawyer Chick: When is your birthday ?

Me: 30th December.

Lawyer Chick: Which year ?

Me: Every year :P.

Sample 3:
Lawyer Chick: wtf is a palindrome.

Me: It's not. [3]

And so after a few mild flirtations I knew it was a choice between packing up and leaving when the going was still good, or stay on and be one of her Jock slaves (I was tempted towards the latter because let's face it she was damn hot. But good sense prevailed and here I am blogging about it.)

[1] This is an all new Spot the Quote contest. Tell me whose the quote from and in return you get a smug smile of being the Mr/Ms Brains.

[2] At this point I hoped she would fall into my arms and I would get the second kiss of my dreary existence but all I got was "You have a good sense of humor".

[3] Copied,this didn't happen.

Monday, May 07, 2007

NOTHING 6: Overheard On Orkut !

NOTHING 6: Overheard On Orkut !
(Yes, we alliterate and write haikus. We're talented.)

Introducing AMI

Don't make fun of NOTHING or it will make fun of you.

Folks today is the NOTHING day and we have special appearances by people who make their voices heard in the comments section so often. So without giving myself any further opportunities to nitpick your brains, allow me to introduce the newest NOTHING cast member: Amiya aka AMI.

Now AMI has been the bread and butter for which I usually write these series and the less I write about her the better it is for my future health. Though I can safely add these details without endangering my box:

1. I sincerely asked she didn't tell me.
2.I groveled I cried still no answer.
3.I promised a chocolate cheese cake ,it melted but she didn't.
4.Now you get the meaning of that pic.

Now you know there is something about the spring weather that gives you that sudden zap in the feet. Romantic and adventurous if you know what I mean I'm not much of a ladies' man but this particular evening I wanted to do something like building the Leaning Tower of Pisa. You know architectural disaster but still something that people from all over the world goto and try and correct it with one hand and a clever photographer(hint) .So with this in mind I initiated this NOTHING.Read on.

AMI: Bleh!!

Me: I do understand in fact let me digress and tell you about the three verb forms of BLEH . They are BLA ... BLU...BLEH

AMI: Wrong! It's BLEH...BLU... BLAH. Minus five to you. [1]

Me: Sarcastic, that is not me.
Maybe I am in the wrong scrap book.
Amiya is hot.

AMI: No no, right scrapbook. Damn right she's hot, I kinda umm... fancy her myself y'know.[2]

Me: Rhythmic pulse beckons.
I am ravenous for your love.
please pass the ketchup.

AMI: That does not rhyme. Appeal disqualified. Next.

Me: Imagination,
Skewed, broken mind.
Wonderful eyes. YOU !

AMI: Content appreciated!! But still does not rhyme, you!

Me: ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [3]
ha ha ha ha ha

Okay, ha ha ha rhymes. Good, 10 points for that. But minus fifty for zero content.
You're slipping dooood, you're in the red now. Buck up. And...

Why are you laughing?
This little game called life is [4]
Deadly serious.

Me: Those elegant words
Uttered by a true prophet,
Role model, Tupac.

[1]: Blimey ,I knew she always wanted to be a teacher but dang it she starting out early.

[2]:Ahh you see she's excited now,There There go back to sleep now and keep dreaming

: Break in by AMI: Huh, who told you that? Facing the bored blank stupid faces of a zillion kids yawning in front of me is NOT my idea of the perfect profession. OR vocation, for that matter.

The Haiku originates in Japan.There are a lot of opinions as to what makes a haiku, even amongst the Japanese.The most widely accepted rules for the original Japanese haiku are a lot stricter than for other languages, such as English.A lot of contemporary writers are of the opinion that a haiku can be written without adherence to the Japanese rules.Detailed below are, perhaps, the strictest rules for an English language haiku:

Haiku = 3 short verses of poetry that do not rhyme.
Format = 5x
(where x = number of syllables)

Deals with a moment of observation or enlightenment in nature.
Contains a word alluding to a season.
Content is specific.
Has no title.
Western Haikus can deal with any subject under the sun and DO NOT HAVE TO RHYME

[4] : Finally she gets it!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

You've Got Mail

Ahh many of you would be expecting to have a belly laugh after reading a new nothing but alas this isn't the nothing that we are used ,in fact i am not really sure that this one is a nothing coz its definitely something very close to my heart.As Joe Fox aptly puts it "The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings "It's a movie review guys of one of my favourite movies You have got mail ,those four magical words . The film released in 1998 and lots has been said and written about it but at the end of the day its one of those films which ii don't mind watching again and again and yet again .There is something bout this movie ,you know it kinda gives hope to hopeless romantics like me of a fairytale sequence in our mundane dating lives . The movie itself is very predictable but the work done by Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks is so captivating that they bring a surrealistic quality to the predictable "pass each other on the street scene"and then there is the ending scene in the garden with the dog tugging at hanks was just one of those moments when everything just feels perfect (I should know i have my own Brinkley aka Comet).I too sent a mail last year but guess she just want Kathleen.

Here's some trivia i dug up on IMDB :

  • The scene where Joe accidentally closes the door of Kathleen's shop on the balloons was unscripted. Tom Hanks actually did that, and ad libbed the line, "Good thing it wasn't the fish." The director thought it was so funny that she kept it in.

  • Kathleen Kelly's bookstore in the film was based largely on Manhattan's Books of Wonder in Chelsea on 18th St. Meg Ryan worked the counter at Books of Wonder for a day as part of her preparation. Decorative props from the film can still be seen at the store.
One of the most important character in the movie that escapes notice by most people is the city of New York in spring so if any one of you wanna know whats my idea for a perfect date it's not
  • A movie and a coffee evening.
  • A walk on a beach.
  • A dinner date at a fancy restaurant
My perfect date involves a breezy spring afternoon in New York , The Central Park ,A picnic Basket , a bottle of wine and of course not to forget my very own Kathleen Kelly.