Sunday, December 16, 2007

"What happened to all the Nice Guys"

Last post had a section on Nice Rebuttals and alluded to the Nice Guy Syndrome and while I was scuba diving in the vast ocean of intra web I came up with this lil GOLD nugget. The views presented here are not mine but I do find myself nodding to them albeit with a lil smirk and "take that" feeling thrown in. So here it is:

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.


A Recovering Nice Guy

PS: I am listening to YMCA right now and trying to make the alphabets which should give you a hint as to why I am not in writing mood today. YMCA.....

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

NOTHING 9 : Randomness

Well if you are expecting a cleverly crafted tale of humor with embellishments of Sarcasm and the wierdosity that is me, then my friend you have come to the wrong place 'coz we never serve that connotation at this place.

Getting Married: (to her Fiance) Go home, take two slices on bread, make omelet , eat it and then go to sleep , get up tomorrow at 6:00 AM, take a morning walk......(you get the idea right !)

Me: Why don't you open up your laptop and make him a Daily Plan using Microsoft Project, you can use the Gannt Chart view which would be so much more easier for him.

Getting Married: The Pandit Ji is giving me headaches with his ever expanding and completely abstruse list of Puja Samagri.

Me: Why don't you make an excel sheet and email it over to your Pandit Ji and ask him to edit it in Track Change mode it will make life a lot easier for you and for him.

Moving on to uncharted territories we shall hypothesize on the subject of being "Nice" (and no I am not going to give out lectures on How to avoid the nice guy routine here!).

We will discuss how you can turn the tables with your "Nice" rebuttal. For e.g.

1. Hey that's a nice dress you got there (Should never ever be confused with cute/sexy dress). What this actually means is that I for once would be a Chauvinist and not comment on the eye jarring color that you are wearing.

2. Oh thats so nice of you! What this one means is whatever you did it doesn't matter much but You did something that lies somewhere between me sending you a Thankyou note or ignoring you

3. Nice !This I use when I am at loss of words to explain the phenomenon in question

So what I want to say is that the "Nice" rebuttal comes in all shapes and sizes and these are my two cents to the "Nice" scheme that many of us run. Please feel free to add to the list.

Thus endeth the Lesson

Monday, December 10, 2007

They say it's so me !

PS: All you peeps add the Honesty Box Application on Facebook, if nothing else you could spam your friends all you wanted