Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Hot Purple Pants!

Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between.

Most days have no impact on the course of a life. February 27th was a Saturday.

He got up late. It was a Saturday after all plus he had put in an all nighter. No not doing that you filthy mind!

He had been feeling a little spring in his step as he had decided to channel that energy into his work.

He was just having his coffee when the phone rang!

"You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly"

That is his ring tone. It was her calling.

"Hello" (still a bit groggy after the all nighter yesterday)

"Hi, can you come and meet me an hour or so earlier than we originally planned"

"I can try and come by 4"

"You don't need to look like the Jonas Brothers to meet me"

"I know, but I am kind of a big deal so 4 it is"

"Alright come as soon as you can"

"Hold on to your pants till I get there"

It was 4:30 now and he had just now reached the designated place. From here on in he had to rely on the map she had drawn for him. Given his fascination with:

"This place is a huge circle so I'll start walking in the direction selected by a simple binomial experiment and eventually reach the intended destination"

The map had become a necessity to speed things up.

He finally reaches the place and she greets him in her now familiar nasal twang "Hi".

He tried to pretend that he was not staring. Well he tried to try.

Her hair was a little shorter, he thought they would be. And it was what he had always imagined chestnut brown to look like, but he could be completely off.

She was dressed cutely, but not really showy. She looked like the cover of a Mango spring catalogue. She looked so damn good, he thought. It was almost as though she was doing the clothes a favor by wearing them.

They talked about his recommendations to the school and he handed her the laptop to start working.

She had to wear glasses. They worked.

They really worked.

It was as if he has just discovered what he had long suspected. The cute dork from not another teenage movie

He gave her as much attention as Godzilla gave to the people of Tokyo or for that instance as much attention as Megan Fox paid in school classes.

"You should at least entertain my friend while I complete this ass hatery you call your recommendations"

Fair enough he thought and proceeded to entertain the hell out of her best friend. No not in that way you filthy mind!

Since both of them were capri(corn(y))s they shared the same corny idea of love stories and Hollywood movie style happy endings and everything in between

As is well documented here that Universe conspires against him when ever it's not taking a leak on him

Just as the bill arrived he discovered that he had lost his card in a city about 2000 Km away and the threesome that they were. No not in that way you filthy mind! They didn't have enough cash to pay the bill.

Frantic calls were made, a breezy auto-rickshaw ride to the PTI building and after much embarrassment tinged with amusement the bill was finally paid.

When they parted ways at the metro station, the smile on her face carried the promise of another day.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Letter to Future Wife

My man PeterDeWolf has been churning out letters to his future wife by the minute. Peter you scoundrel what you don't understand is that this letter writing spree of yours might cause irreconcilable differences between my future wife and me. So in order to avoid a future divorce I have decided to jump in the fray and start writing letter to future wife (mine not yours)


This is the first letter and understandably I am a little apprehensive, you know you are the first one who has made it this far. Congratulations?!

I have to tell you a few things and I would have ideally used my favorite bullet point lists. But since this is your first time here I am going to go along with neatly spaced sentences.

See how I just slipped in the fact that I am a really organized person. What No! alright I guess you still haven't got the hang of my subtlety.

I am  a break-a-downer. No no I don't break things neither am I employed at a junk yard. What I mean to say is that I break big things into small manageable things. I should also mention that once I have done the breaking part I promptly forget about them. This is where you come in future wife I need to be constantly incentivized, subsidized, bailed out, given TARP kisses? for finishing the above mentioned small things.

I am a fashion nazi! This has been well documented as I have ahem *flogged* even bollywood actresses for their bizarre dressing sense. You my future wife must either be so cute that I want you sans any clothes as soon as I see you ;) or you really know how to dress up.Still I will critique!

Future wife I may just smile and keep on smiling for 1 min 30 seconds while looking at you, please don't think I have gone loony on you. In time you will begin to appreciate this trait of mine. Also future wife I have a strong inkling that in many ways you will be like Summer here and I would totally dig it.

Do you think Aloo tikki burger better then the Veg Surprise, of course you do right ? How would wearing a  "I can has burger" T shirt look at McD. Do you think people will stare at us?

- Yes
- No
- Maybe
- Who cares I likes Burgers

You know this is just the first letter and I am still getting the hang of it, just know that this post was NOT first typed in MS Word then sent to a few girl- friends for copy editing (see the clever use of '-' there) and finally copy pasted. This post is a whirlwind of typing and checking facebook in between.

Much Love