Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wonder Years

Let us deviate from the tried and tested script for a while and talk about life. You know life, the moments that you just can’t forget and the moments that you wish never did happen and everything else in between. Just the other day you were the kid who would hop in the school bus to meet his Winnie Cooper and then you were the boy who would stand on the bus stand waiting to catch a glimpse of the elusive one across the road and now the guy sitting by a fire place and typing this post out. High school was like a spork, a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it was just plain useless. Growing up is full of big moments. Some of them you can see coming from a mile away; and some you can't see at all.

Things never turn out the way that you thought they would, neither do you go on to become a pilot which was the first thing you wanted to be nor do you even remember what you wanted to be after the whole pilot phase fizzled out. You just wish that the best in you is still up your sleeve.

Just the other day there were only two channels that you had only two channels to choose from and today you have a dish on your roof that would bring in all but the two you want to watch. From watching the Byomokesh Bakshis a few years ago now you can’t wait to get your hands on the latest sitcom out in the US. I remember a time a place when kids use to leave the playing field for the Sunday evening movie; I remember a house like a lot of houses a locality like a lot of localities and how it felt to grow up among people and places I loved and most of all I remember how hard it was to move away for college. Sometimes I just look back and wonder.

Life is like a scrap book. Most people have just 20 pages, but what you are looking for is the one with 50 pages with some extra magenta pages thrown in. I fancy myself as a 50 page scrap book though I have got a few missing. It’s ok though coz I got some nice olive pages at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I seem to bump into a lot of 20 pages. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 50 pages type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"”

We shall resume normal transmission from next post (or not!).

Have a lovely weekend.

Monday, January 14, 2008

An Open letter to my Dog

I know I have been MIA for quite some time but life's been a busy b***h and I have been having too much fun to come back and post here, which doesn't mean that the fun has ended now, it's just that I love you guys too much to let you stay in peace for more than 20 days or so. So without much ado I present to "An Open letter to my Dog".

Dear Dog

It's me The Blog Owner, now although you rarely read this blog and may not be able to recognize who this is, let me jog your memory. Everyday at 6:30 AM when all the world is asleep in their warm and cozy rooms and it's like freezing out there, I take you out for Potty.

Ok now wipe that self satiating smile of your face, in future try to do your stuff a lil faster so I can get in a few minutes of extra sleep. You see I have been working on a lot of BPR [1] Projects lately and thought that may you could do with a simple algorithm for pooping:

STEP 1: Wake me up, you do not need to lick my feet or my face at this step. I repeat no licking just a low barking sound will do.

STEP2: When I try to put the Red Leash on, that's exactly what I am doing, I am not playing fetch the ball or some such thing( Why would I effing want to play fetch at 6:30 in the morning !)
So behave and let me put it on.

STEP 3: At this point we go out and you take a poop. Now as my BPR acumen tells me this is the most time consuming step in the whole process and needs re-engineering ( if it was some other project we could have done with some ICT [2] initiatives but no this is you ). So I would just say take a poop already and you would obey.

STEP 4: On our way back we don't need to play " who walked by here " by smelling every vertical surface around. I repeat out Objective of Potty is over and now we shall retreat to our warm and cozy room. Do you copy Dear Dog ?

Ok now that we have gotten that issue out of the way, it brings me to another incident:

Stop hitting on Girls that I like ok! I can't believe that I am just left standing there while you become the center of attraction of a group of girls. You are supposed to be my wing (well sorta) so quit ruining my game.

And now for the reason that you shall obey whatever has been said herein you see I have opposable thumbs. This is why I get to be in charge. I can open cans, doors, and bags of treats. . I'm also the only one with a driver's license and a car. I win. Being cute is no match for opposable thumbs.

While I in no way wish to suppress your rightful dogginess, I feel that these very simple guidelines will allow us to continue to co-exist in peaceful harmony.

Much thanks,

The Blog Owner

[1] BPR : Business Process Re-engineering

[2] ICT : Information and Communication Technology