Sunday, March 23, 2008

Aplhabets: Funny creatures

I am sure God had the same thing in mind when he created English language. I think I am gonna get hold of small kid and teach him alphabets(or not). Anyways I promise to fill you in on Shillong Nothings next time, till then hold on to that mouse of yours(I think I may have intended some pun there).

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Dating 101

Dating, going steady, seeing someone, hanging out, and going out. An exhaustive list of words/phrases to describe a brief exercise designed for young men and women to eventually add more leaves to the family tree. Today you are invited to a thoughtful, concise and entertaining (or so I hope) sermon on this modern phenomenon. How wise, flippant, sober or stupid, this treatment has been, it is for the reader alone to judge. However if out of curiosity, admiration or pure pity the readers detect the faint beginning of a smile on their faces than your neighborhood saint would consider his work well done.

We shall start from the basics first up the victims/perpetrators.

Man: Four to two to three legs and boom dating, it’s as simple as that.

Woman: When the aforesaid man asks her out for a coffee.

Now usually the boy in question fully unprepared picks up the phone and calls his certain someone and talks about all the things like homework, career and even some random Bushisms he heard the other day and the girl acutely aware of the boy’s condition plays along and seeing his opportunity boy prepares for the final question, like a kamikaze pilot he takes one last breath and lunges forward. He asks the girl out to the local coffee shop.

At the coffee shop feeling the full weight of the moment boy tries to engage in small talk only to find that there is an alien menu staring back at him asking him to choose a coffee from. The ritual continues and usually spills over to a second date. Houston we have lift off! In some cases this cycle of dates continues till either the boy decides it is time to pop the big one “Do you wanna be my girl” [1] or the girl decides that she “just wants to be friends” [2]. And just like that the first leg of the ceremony is over leaving the newly formed couple with inflated phone bills.

The tone and tenure of the whole thing may vary from place to place, from generation to generation but remember that even Adam had to ask Eve out [3].

[1] I know a few Indian specimens you have used variations of the phrase “I love you” on these occasions with partial success.

[2] This leaves you with a lot of frivolous coffee bills and possibly a broken heart

[3] A certain apple had its role in this story but no coffee !